You know, I never found a reason to keep something once it had no more use or reason to being kept, emotional value included here. And since this account is pretty much dead anyway, seeing as I have my Facebook page where I also show off my artworks, it really doesn't have a purpose anymore. Even more so since, except close friends, actually no one comments or throws in some advice. Not that I find anybody any guilt in that, my graphic skills right now are still pretty low and there's a chance that, even though they'd be more evolved, I still wouldn't get many comments, I've seen a lot of great artists around here who work for major design studios, worldwide renowned projects, and still here they are basically nobody - one such example that always pops in my mind when thinking about this is
aka David Levy, one of the concept designers hired for the second "TRON" movie. So in the light of such facts I actually find it troublesome to continue to post here. I will still be keeping my account, but all the artworks will be deleted and it will only remain a "stalker account" for me to continue following the artists I like.
However, this is not the end for me in the art department, not by a long shot. If anything else it's just the beginning of an even more serious road ahead. I'm determined, now more than ever, to make a career for myself in the illustration and/or concept design fields. Most probably I will continue studying and practicing on my own, since taking art classes or tutoring would be just a waste of money giving the fact that I now have a job, so my time is more limited and would only have time for self-imposed homework and projects, not the amount an art teacher would demand, and I also want to save up money to go at least once every 2 years abroad(maybe even more often). But one thing I know for sure is that I will keep trying, even when I'm gonna feel down about my skills. I finally realized some time ago - kudos to all the people who supported me, mom especially - that I only have one life and that it doesn't matter when I reach my goal, just as long as I do it. I might as well just land an important job in these fields I want and then die, I honestly don't care. I just wanna reach that point and afterwards all hell can break loose as far as I'm concerned, because I would've already achieved my greatest wish ever. Yes, I'm selfish, I'm really sorry sometimes about that but after over 10 years of being unselfish I kinda had it with that. So anyway, no worries - if the case -, I will come back properly on dA one day. And when I do I will have also reached the level to allow me to post my works on other bigger name art sites such as CGHub, CGSociety etc, or at least gathered the courage to post my works there and get flagellated with constructive criticism
And as concerns my life - since it's the last time for quite some time that I'll be writing here might as well do it like always - it's actually going well. Most, if not all, is due to the fact that I now have a job that I like - part-time, from-home graphic designer in an advertising medium-ranged company -, decently payed - for me at least, for others it might be too little - and coming with 2 really nice and decent bosses to learn from. Of course the major benefits for me are the money and the motivational factor. For the first part I can finally help my mom by paying all the bills, and I'm really happy for this after having her raise me all on her own for over 14 years(and no, she didn't ask this from me). Not to mention I can finally buy more art books & Co and start saving money for travelling abroad, first stop will be China for sure
And for the second part... well, you won't believe - those still studying and/or without a job - how you can actually find the time and especially the mood to practice your passion(s) after working hours are over. It might be also because my job is relatively stress-free, and even when they'll switch me to full-time, in-office I'm pretty sure it will be the same... well, except the hours wasted on commuting, those REALLY suck ass big time
Point is I'm pretty much in high spirits since I've found this job and it also raised my confidence tremendously in terms of my passion for drawing & painting. Well I admit, the artist Feng Zhu talking in his videos also helped out a lot, gotta thank that guy on his Youtube account or via e-mail soon. Therefore I expect everything to only improve from now on and, no matter how long it takes, to finally do the things I love in the visual art/design department.
Last words.. uhhhmm... stay well, do what you love and always have hope for the future. And in the end just try and be happy.